4. Don’t Even Try To Watch Any Hawkman Cartoons, For Your Own Sake
Do… do I even need to elaborate? Can I PLEASE just leave it at that? Really? Fine. Let’s talk about the Hawkman Cartoon.
No, I don’t mean mean the Brave and The Bold episodes, those are ok. Sure, they’re some of the weaker episodes of the series, but they aren’t THAT bad. And I’m also not talking about the episodes of Justice League Unlimited he’s in, although those do fall victim to “Hawkman continuity is a nightmare†syndrome.
No. I’m talking about the filmation cartoon. Yeah, those guys that made cheap cartoons back in the sixties. Filmation had the rights to make a bunch of DC cartoons (which you can buy on DVD if you’re stupid/a giant nerd like me) and the Hawkman one was THE WORST ONE.
Where do I even start? Do I talk about how the opening sequence flashes colors notable for giving people seizures? Do I talk about how they replaced Hawkgirl with a non-speaking pet hawk named Skreal? Do I talk about how Hawkman wears a single clawed glove that shoots an energy blast when he twists a dial on his chest? No, I think talking about Skreal was probably the way to go.
Skreal is kind of my favorite thing.
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