Achewood (Source: Swupper.wordpress.com)

7. Philippe

(Achewood)

Our next candidate hails from the world of webcomics. Chris Onsted’s Achewood is one of those things that isn’t for everyone. If you like it, you’ll love it, and if you hate it, you will detest it. I love it with all my heart. And one of the reasons why is Philippe, the five-year-old otter whose innocence never gets old.

Philippe ran for President in the 2004 election with many campaign promises. Foremost of which was the promise to cure sadness by giving everyone a puppy named Mr. Poopytime. I fully support this plan. Also, his mascot was a gorilla Philippe named Homosexuals because he liked the way it sounded. This is also incredibly charming. To quote Philippe’s campaign ads, “I think everyone agrees it’s time this country was run by someone who is five.” I sure do, Philippe, I sure do.