Source: filmschoolrejects.com

1. Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

I mean, this is what it had to be. When I think back on everything I love about comic books, when I try to figure out where the medium’s high point lies, I can only think of a jar of pee sitting on a senator’s desk. And then it all comes flooding back.

Superheroes who needlessly murder people. A movie that requires a director’s cut to even qualify as a movie. A villain who prefers to be incredibly annoying, as opposed to being in any way threatening. These are all of my favorite things.

From the opening scene, which finally shows us what happened to Batman’s parents, to the ending, during which…hold on, I need to check…Holy s**t, Superman DIES? I had somehow totally forgotten this. Weird. Anyway, Henry Cavil shines with the direction he’s given, which clearly involves this: “Stand there looking pouty. But not too pouty, because that would qualify as an emotion.” And Ben Affleck does a good job, even though he hasn’t decided whether he even wants to be in these movies at all.

All in all, the movie’s incredibly long, super gray, and full of creative decisions that are so contrary to what any sane human being would do, you can only call it the greatest comic book movie of all time.

Well, everybody, that’s the list. Ranked and presented, the greatest comic book movies of all time! Enjoy the rest of your April Fools Day. I hope this gave you a dumb little chuckle. I’ll be back with a real, non-jokey list in a couple of days.