Source: sacomics.blogspot.com

8. Captain Compass

BOAT DETECTIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Now we're going to town on the REALLY obscure characters. Like, if you know who this guy is without my telling you, congratulations, you're a liar.

Captain Compass, real name Mark Compass because of @!$&ing COURSE it is, was a skilled detective hired by a shipping company to solve boat crimes. Although apparently all of his detective experience was also boat related? How many boat crimes can there possibly be? Captain Compass is so obscure that when I went to Google him to see if he'd done anything else, the first search result was for a Harry Potter fanfiction author with the same username.

But that's not what we're here for. We're here to make fun of Boaty McBoatface, P.I. I guess Compass could go solve the mystery of the missing dingy. Or the case of the disappeared shipping crate. Or, the strange nature of seasickness. I"¦um"¦I couldn't think of another boat crime.