Superman #701 (imgur.com)

3. Unfair Play

SAME ISSUE.

Page Fifteen.

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!

Superman #701 might be the single worst comic book I’ve ever read. But now we get a scene that’s all the worse, because it’s a knock-off of an amazing one.

One of the best Superman pages of all time is the single page from All-Star Superman in which Supes talks down a potential jumper. It’s elegant and powerful, and it exemplifies what the character is about more than anything else I can think of.

                       All-Star Superman #10 (griph.net)

So what’s Grounded to do, except absolutely ruin the simplicity and miss the point? All-Star does the scene in five panels and four lines of dialogue. Grounded? SEVEN OVERLY TALKY PAGES!! And they are filled with disappointingly bad dialogue.

All-Star gives us “It’s never as bad as it seems. You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.” This legitimately gives me chills down my spine, just typing it. It’s that good.

So what pearl of inspiring wisdom does Grounded give us about life? “It’s not fair. But it’s not unfair either. It just…is.” That…um…what? That’s terrible. Superman is the ultimate optimist. That is the key function of his character. He is the hero all heroes look up to. And his comment is that life just kinda happens? Woooooooooow.