6. No, Luke…

And now we get back to “I literally transcribe the actual dialogue because it’s too bonkers to summarize believably” theatre!!!

Captain America approaches Marcus, trying to figure out exactly what his deal is. He asks Marcus where he came from. Marcus basically rolls his eyes and says, “My mother.”

You know, like a jerk.

Steve seems annoyed by this. To be fair, the last time he had to deal with a child was in the forties, and said child wound up attached to an exploding plane. I only wish Marcus met a similar fate.

Annoyed, Steve then asks Marcus how he was conceived. To which he responds: “Uhhhm…by my father?” Wow, Marcus, did you want to derisively snort while flipping double birds as you said that? Because you might as well have. Finally, Steve asks Marcus who his father is. Marcus responds with the worst answer possible. An answer so terrible because it is actually the truth.

“I am.”

NOOOOOOOOOOOPE!!!

I’M DONE.

I DON’T WANNA GO ON.