9. Earth’s Creepiest Heroes

Now, we are actually introduced to the plot in progress. Ms. Marvel (later known as Captain Marvel) apparently has gone through nine months of pregnancy in three days.

And if that isn’t weird enough, Carol Danvers, aka Ms. Marvel, assures everyone else that it wasn’t physically possible for her to have gotten pregnant at any point in the last several months. But, instead of freaking out because this is all literally body horror, the Avengers all start getting excited, because BABY!!!

Wasp enters the scene shouting “Ooo, this is exciting!” I’m glad you think one of your teammates possibly getting Xenomorphed is “exciting”, Wasp. Or, what about the moment when Beast (yeah, the one from the X-Men. He was also a longtime Avenger) looks at the newly born baby and calls it “frisky”, and follows that by saying that he’ll “be Quarterbacking the Jets before he’s sixteen”. Two things.

First, that thing came out of your teammate against her will, why are you fawning over it? And second, YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A BABY. How does a baby show any indication of anything, especially football prowess? GOD the Avengers are baby-crazy, who knew?