Harley Keener as Iron Man

Oh, good God, no. There’s a terrible rumor about Phase Four concerning Iron Man in Phase Four. The rumor suggests that Robert Downey, Jr. – who is currently 51, remember – will be stepping down from his role as Tony Stark. That’s upsetting, but it’s believable. What isn’t quite so believable is the rumour about who could take on the Iron Man mantle in his place.

Remember Harley Keener – the young boy played by Ty Simpkins in Iron Man 3? That annoying little swine? That whining little runt? That horrible little… you get the point. Well, apparently, he could be the next Iron Man.

Really, Marvel Studios? You would really subject us to that? After the awesomeness of Robert Downey, Jr., you would let the most annoying thing about the worst film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe take over his role? No, thank you.

And now we move on to a bunch of characters who have already achieved massive mainstream success elsewhere.