Marvel alternate realities are a dime a dozen. There’re so many you could spend hours just listing the Spider-Men involved in their events. From the pages of What If?, Spider-Verse, Exiles, or many other alternate reality titles come these web slingers. And with Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse adding new Spider-Men by the second, I figured it couldn’t hurt to blow through some of the fun ones and the important ones. I’ve always been a big Spider-Man guy and an even bigger alternate reality guy and this is an opportunity to stretch those muscles. The world is full of Spider-Men, true, but some are more notable than others and some are pigs. So with that, our honorable mention: Spider-Ham AKA Peter Porker. Spider-ham comes from a universe of wacky animal people like the perfectly named Ducktor Doom. He’s also had a bit of a resurgence recently since he’s pretty silly and people like silliness nowadays. Thank god they do because I can talk about Spider-Ham for a living now. What a good day.
And why don’t we start with the classic original recipe Spidey?
Peter Parker was your average constantly angry teen who no one liked and lived with his incredibly old Aunt and Uncle. We all knew a kid like that. But one day Peter was going to a science museum exhibit by himself (like a nerd) and got bitten by a radioactive spider. That bite gave him incredible powers.
He could stick to walls, sense danger, and perform feats of strength and acrobatics on cue. Peter also used his own intelligence to build web shooters, giving his alter ego a method of traveling super fast around the city. He didn’t use those talents and powers to fight crime, though, instead he entered into a wrestling match. A badly booked wrestling match, I might add. I mean, Crusher Hogan is pretty obviously a Heel but so would be the guy wearing the full face spider mask so I don’t know who the audience was supposed to root for.
But Crusher put Spider-Man over and Pete decided to be a professional famous person! And then some guy shot his uncle or something and his life changed course I guess.