10 Reasons I LOVED Captain America: Civil War

A month or two back, when I was dramatically less busy than I am now, I wrote a review for, uh, the OTHER big tentpole superheroes-punching-each other movie to come out this year. You know, the one I’ll refuse to name.

Let’s just call it a Bad, Very Serious, Depressing and Overwhelmingly Joyless movie. BVS:DoJ, for short. Well, after seeing that movie WHICH I COMPLETELY REFUSED TO NAME SO DON’T EVEN TRY TO GUESS WHICH MOVIE I’M TALKING ABOUT, I was really nervously excited for this movie. A friend of mine who saw it early absolutely hated it, but I remained hopeful. Aaaaaaaaaaaand, I loved it.

So now that Disney’s check has cleared (THIS IS A JOKE. I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO STATE THAT BUT THERE ARE SOME DUMB MORONS WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT CRITICS ARE PAID OFF TO HATE DC MOVIES AND LIKE MARVEL ONES AND I WANTED TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO THOSE DUMB MORONS THAT I AM KIDDING ABOUT BEING PAID BY DISNEY), I can get to work talking about why I liked this movie so much.

SPOILERS AHEAD.