I haven't done one of these in a while. But, hey, I felt like shaking off the rust and having myself a little fun. For those who don't remember (and who can blame you), in these segments, I dig out an issue or two from my collection of Who's Who comics, which catalogue the characters of the DC Universe. I flip through and pull out some of the weirdest characters, and we all have some fun and a good-hearted chuckle with the whole thing.
10. Monsieur Mallah
FRENCH MONKEY. Sorry, ape. I know there's a difference, but monkey is way more fun to say. You gotta admit that.
Monsieur Mallah was a simple test gorilla for a mad scientist. The scientist wanted to see how smart he could make a gorilla. And he made him smart enough to talk and be a lab assistant and stuff. Then the scientist got blown up. His brain was placed in a giant metal chess piece, and he started calling himself The Brain. Also, he was now evil.
Mallah assisted because, y'know, when a dude takes you from flinging your own feces to debating Faust, you owe him a few favors. Also, they might be lovers? Like, that has historically been some writers' interpretation. Which is weird, right? Like, straight up bestiality is always weird and wrong. This is why I could never get into Bee Movie. Oh, eventually Gorilla Grodd picked up The Brain and beat Mallah to death with him.
Which is – I'll be honest – hilarious.