Dream Team: The Justice League of Batmen

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The DC Universe is full of alternate realities. I've written about them many a time. I’ve always focused on great Elseworlds Batman stories, but this time I wanted to focus on the best Batman depictions. Because not every great Batman is from a Batman-centric comic. Some of them are weird odd diversions popularized by something else. And I thought, "Hey, what would you get if you made a superhero team of just Batmen?" So here goes.

                                                        Source: wordpress.com

1. Vampire Batman (Red Rain Trilogy)

The Stealth

The Red Rain trilogy is not as good as you want it to be. I mean, it is a story about Vampire Batman, and that sounds rad as all hell, right? Well, slow down, cowboy, because you don't get Vampire Batman until Part Two, and you don't get EVIL Vampire Batman until Part Three.

If you're gonna read one of these, I'd actually recommend Batman: Crimson Mist, the third and final chapter of the trilogy. That one is just Batman as an evil vampire massacring villains until Gordon and Two-Face and Alfred and Killer Croc team up to stop him. It's bloody fun and avoids the faux seriousness of the first two parts. But Red Rain Batman is such a mascot of Batman Elseworlds that I simply had to include him. I mean it's Batman. As a vampire.

Team Role: The Stealth.

Well, Red Rain is a bit of a wild card, so he should be used only in reserve. For the team, the version from Chapter Two: Bloodstorm, would most likely be the best, since he's not a murderer and is still fighting his transformation. But The Vampire would be best suited to stealth missions, and could work well in that capacity.

                                                         Source: dc.wikia.com

2. Green Lantern Batman (Batman: In Darkest Knight)

The Marksman

In Darkest Knight is your typical fun Elseworlds story. Not a ton of weight. It shows Batman being someone else or somewhere else or some when else or whatever. In this story, he's the Green Lantern of Earth. Specifically, at the moment when the Bat was supposed to fly straight through his window to inspire him to become a Batman, Abin Sur's ring flies through instead, and chooses him.

Of course, since Batman is Batman, he doesn't really play by the Guardians’ rules, and he eventually gets in trouble for it. But, hey, as far as Green Lanterns go, not bad.

Team Role: The Marksman.

To be honest, Bruce isn't the best Green Lantern. He screws up multiple times, gets Alfred killed, and fails to beat Sinestro like Hal did. But he's disciplined and focused, and he has a Green Lantern Ring, so that's something. He'd be best suited to a sniper's role, picking off targets from a distance with his ring. Especially since most Batmen are more up close and personal fighters.

                                                          Source: nerdist.com

3. Victorian Batman (Batman: Gotham By Gaslight)

The Detective

Ah, yes, the urban vigilante of the night. The Batman who took on Jack the Ripper and survived. Because he is one of the best detectives of all of the Batmans. In addition, this Batman had to clear his own name after he was accused of committing the Ripper murders. In the sequel, he fought an air pirate with a zeppelin, as well as a Man-Bat and a dimension-hopping vampire in the Countdown special. Altogether, he's one of the most successful alternate Batmen, and he’s defeated numerous criminals.

Team Role: The Detective.

Gaslight is easily the smartest alternate Batman, and he should be the one to analyze and deduce anything that needs figuring out. Since he's from the nineteenth century, he probably shouldn't be the one to handle the team's technological or science duties, but deductive reasoning? There's no one better.

Let him investigate and solve and deal with things, and just hope he doesn't scream "Witchcraft!" whenever the other Bats consult the Batcomputer.

                                                          Source: aeither.net

4. Pulp Hero Batman (Batman: The Doom that Came to Gotham)

The Brawler

The Doom that Came to Gotham is a somewhat underwhelming, but overall fun and charming, pulp story about Batman fighting Lovecraftian horror monsters that have arrived in Gotham. Since the tale is based on pulp novels of old, this Batman is a two-fisted, gun-wielding fighter and world traveler who ventures the globe with his young boy wards crewing his ship.

Also, those Mike Mignola covers are friggin' wonderful. But if you're looking for some quality gun-Batman, this is better than most of what you'll find.

Team Role: The Brawler.

DtCtG Batman is a fighter, through and through. Dude is hardcore. Don't mess with him. And on a team of Batmen, he's the one who’s best equipped to get down and dirty with the bad guys. If you need someone put on their asses (with maybe a bullet in "˜em) Pulp Batman is definitively your guy. A two-fisted, hard-fightin' son of a gun.

                                                    Source: Pastemagazine.com

5. Russian Terrorist Batman (Superman: Red Son)

Demolitions

Superman: Red Son is pretty great.

The story shows what would happen if Kal-El's rocket had landed in Soviet Russia, and he’d grown up to fight for the forces of Communism. This world's Batman was the son of two vocal protesters against the government who were executed by the secret police. He grew up full of vengeance, and wanted to kill Pyotr Roslov, a Captain in the police department. In adulthood, he began to perpetrate acts of terrorism against the Soviet government, until he faced off with Superman. Batman defeated Wonder Woman, beat up Superman, exposed Roslov for what he was, and then killed himself to avoid being captured.

Team Role: Demolitions.

Red Son Batman is a master of sabotage and explosives. Dude planted a bomb in his own intestine! Or at least he did, until that Countdown Presents One Shot retconned it as having been The Atom's doing. Regardless, the guy is capable of some serious devastation. And as the quirky Russian bomb maker, he'd be a great addition to our Bat-league.

                                                    Source: henchmen4hire.com

6. The Old Man (Kingdom Come)

The Tech

I like Kingdom Come a lot. It's pretty and well-written and a fun alternate take on the DC Universe. And its Batman is a fascinating guy.

This Batman has been aging normally, is pretty beaten down, and mostly fights crime through big bat-robots spread throughout Gotham. But when he does have to armor up and fight himself, he does a good job of it. He's just a little past his prime in terms of physical ability.

Team Role: The Tech.

KC Bats is a builder. And being from the farthest in the future of any of these guys, he knows the most about what he's talking about. Plus, like, half of this team is from years when television didn't yet exist, so who else is gonna do it? Admittedly, KC Batman could probably run a super team by himself just composed of Bat robots. But I don't think my boss would let me make this list about which no-name, faceless Bat-robots from Kingdom Come are the best (number one is the one on the left on that first page they appear on), so he'll have to play with others.

                                                        Source: uberlin.co.uk

7. The Berlin Batman (Batman Chronicles #11)

The Field Leader

The Jewish Batman of 1938 is a solid badass.

Seriously, if you ever find a copy of Batman Chronicles #11 while back issue diving, pick that thing up. The Berlin Batman is a Paul Pope short story about Baruch Wane, a young Jewish boy who watched his parents being murdered by an anti-Semitic mob. He swears vengeance, and becomes The Batman, an avenger who strikes in the night in vicious, unstoppable rampages against the Nazis. Baruch is the most Batman-like Batman on the list, only differing in terms of his time period. But he's smart and skilled, and accustomed to working as part of a team, since he had his own Robin and Gordon analogues.

Team Role: The Field Leader.

There's no one on this list who's as much of a badass as Baruch. Dude fought Nazis and criminals and was a long running crime fighter for decades. He's the master of the beat down, skilled in weaponry, and just knows how to lay down the law. And as one of the ultimate Batmen, there's no one else as equipped to lead as he is.

                                                          Source: ifanboy.com

8. The Bat (JSA: The Liberty File)

The Strategist

JSA: The Liberty File is pretty great. I've compared it to an Indiana Jones movie before, and it does feel like that. The story is about three Special Ops soldiers operating in Egypt in 1942, during World War II. The team, nicknamed the Unholy Three, is composed of The Clock (Hourman), The Owl (Dr. Mid-Nite), and The Bat (duh).

If you like desert-based Nazi punching, The Liberty File is for you. And if you don't, please stop reading my articles.

Team Role: The Strategist.

There's no one you want more than a military ops man for a planner. And The Bat is pretty good at being that. The guy works well within a team, he knows how to coordinate troops, and he can throw down with the best of them. Berlin Batman is more equipped to be an in-the-field leader, but in terms of operations planning, The Bat is the one you want making the calls.

                                                         Source: dc.wikia.com

9. The Tyrant (Batman: Shadow of the Bat Annual #2)

The Traitor

If you're flipping through quarter bins, and come across Batman: Shadow of the Bat Annual #2, buy that thing post-haste. It's great.

In the story, a young, newly orphaned Bruce Wayne is adopted by Jonathan Crane, who raises him to be a brutal tyrant. Crane eventually poisons Gotham’s water supply, but Batman has a change of heart and warns the citizens, who promptly burn his mansion to the ground with him inside. But before his death, he’s a"¦well, he’s a totalitarian psycho.

Team Role: The Traitor.

I mean, come on, you gotta have some drama. And if there's one Batman to go rogue and betray the entire team, this is the dude. He's one of the most evil Batmen, but also one who hides it. It's perfectly plausible that he might sneak his way into the JLB (Justice League of Batmen), and eventually lead the team into a trap, at the behest of his adopted dad.

                                               Source: comicvine.gamespot.com

10. Superbat

The Heavy

Superman: Speeding Bullets tells the story of what if baby Kal-El was found by Thomas and Martha Wayne. And so, after their murder, little Bruce Wayne (renamed by his new parents) uses his immense super powers to fight crime as The Batman. Until he grows out of it and becomes Superman. As Batman, Wayne is brutal and vicious, his powers used through the filter of his immense rage. As such, he is scary as all hell.

Team Role: The Heavy.

Superbat is a weapon. Fast, strong, brutal, the rest of the squad calls him in when something big needs breaking. He's not smart enough to be the Leader or the Strategist, but if used as a cannon to be pointed at the problem, he could be a very effective team member. He will tear his target apart. Do not get in his way at any time, for any reason. But he's still a hero, and still a deserving part of the team.

And there you have it, my Batman dream team. Let me know who you'd put on this squad! Also, let me know if you liked this, as I'd love to do way more of these. This was fun!

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