A History of Thanos' Embarrassing Defeats

Source: bronzeagebabies.com

Chapter Two: Captain Marvel and the Avengers Defeat Thanos

Thanos’ first experience in actually fighting the Marvel Universe came when he obtained a Cosmic Cube (the Tesseract, for any cosmic squares reading this) from AIM and used it to conquer the universe.

But you can’t conquer the Marvel Universe without raising someone’s hackles, so before too long Captain Marvel (the Mar-Vell version) and the Avengers showed up to squash his fun. Thanos siphoned the power from the Cosmic Cube, and decided he was done with it. He then made like a real adult, and threw it on the ground. Captain Marvel just sorta went over, picked up the cube, and used it to very easily defeat Thanos.

Thanos fled, and his girlfriend - Death - dumped him for his failure. Ouch. To be honest, the Avengers didn’t even really do much besides beat up some of Thanos’ minions. For a first attempt, it still wasn't great. I mean, he got farther than most, but he also lost in a super embarrassing manner. As we're about to see, that's pretty typical.

Lesson Thanos Should Have Learned: If you have an item of ultimate power that is granting you victory, maybe shouldn’t put it down until everything is totally settled in your favor. And even then, still hang on to it.