10 Dumb/Awful Spider-Man Villains We Never Want To See In A Movie

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The Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Venom, the Sandman, Lizard, Electro and Rhino – these are all classic Spider-Man villains who have been depicted (with varying degrees of success) in the Webbed Wonder’s movies to date.

While they didn’t all turn out to be great on film (Topher Grace’s Venom was absolutely horrendous, for example), the fact is that they are all iconic enough to at least have had their turn without anybody wondering why that’s the case. However, for every fantastic villain in Spider-Man’s rogues gallery (it’s undoubtedly one of the best in comic books, along with Batman’s), there are just as many that are absolutely terrible.

If certain enemies of Spidey turned up in a movie, millions of the character’s fans would be asking why. This article will list some of them who just don’t cut the mustard as far as being movie-worthy is concerned. Here are ten awful Spider-Man villains we never want to see in a movie.

Human Fly

Human Fly

Human Fly

The Human Fly – also sometimes known simply as the Fly – is Richard Deacon. Deacon is a small-time crook who first came into contact with Spider-Man when he was carrying out a kidnapping, prior to becoming super-powered, but he has gone on to face the Webbed Wonder several times since.

When Spidey helped to put a stop to Deacon’s kidnapping attempt, the crook wanted revenge on the hero. Having been shot by the police, fallen into a river and presumed dead, he had actually survived and found his way to the laboratory of a scientist – Dr. Harlan Stillwell – who he knew was interested in creating a being to defeat Spider-Man.

Before he knew it, Deacon was strapped to a machine and impregnated with the genetic coding of a common housefly. He developed fly-like abilities, such as the ability to fly, cling to to walls, produce ultrasonic waves from his giant wings, see in every direction and proportionate strength – as well as the vile ability to produce a highly acidic vomit.

He’s absolutely disgusting – and not someone we ever want to see in a live action Spider-Man movie.

White Rabbit

White Rabbit

White Rabbit

Not to be confused with the less prominent but far superior DC and Batman villain of the same name, Marvel’s White Rabbit is a Spider-Man villain whose real name is Lorina Dodson.

Her shtick is ridiculous, however. She was a privileged young girl who married into wealth but, having been treated like a trophy wife, snapped and had her husband killed.

Now certifiably insane, she used her inheritance money to make her life more dangerous and exciting. Being a huge fan of Lewis Carroll and, in particular, Alice in Wonderland, she purchased a load of gadgets and accessories that were themed after the rabbit from said classic story (robotic rabbits, genetically mutated killer rabbits, razor-tipped and explosive carrots etc) – although her outfit is far more reminiscent of a Playboy Bunny!

She used her new equipment to embark on a life of crime and, subsequently, fell afoul of the Webbed Wonder. Unfortunately, her gimmick is far too silly to possibly work in a Spider-Man movie (giant robotic rabbits, really?).

Grizzly

Grizzly

Grizzly

Supervillains are often themed after animals and, given that bears are pretty scary, you’d think that’d be a half-decent gimmick for one. However, it’s all about the execution and Grizzly just doesn’t pull it off.

There are four characters who go by that name in Marvel comic books, but we’re obviously referring to Maxwell Markham here, as he’s the only Spider-Man villain of the quartet.

Markham was a wrestler whose violent tendencies in the ring resulted in J. Jonah Jameson writing an article about him that ended up getting him banned from the sport. Years later, he would be given a bear-like exoskeleton by another Spider-Man foe – the Jackal – which enabled him to attack the Daily Bugle as revenge for Jameson’s actions.

Unfortunately, in addition to looking utterly ridiculous in his bear suit, his attempt at revenge was thwarted by Spider-Man, which made him become a recurring foe to the Webbed Wonder. In spite of the strength, durability and razor sharp claws granted to him by the suit, he looks far too ridiculous to be taken seriously in a movie.

Living Brain

The Living Brain

The Living Brain

The Living Brain is a humanoid robot built by the corporation known as I.C.M. (International Computing Machines). It is said to be the most intelligent robot/computer in existence in the Marvel universe and can answer virtually any question posed to it.

Its main programmed aim, however, was to deduce the secret identity of Spider-Man from the information already known about the hero.

Two workmen hired to transport it by its creator – Dr. Petty – overheard the fact that it could answer anything and stole it for gambling purposes. However, it malfunctioned and went on a rampage, prompting Spider-Man into action.

It is capable of giving the Webbed Wonder a hard time in a physical tussle – as it is extremely intelligent, super-strong, fast, can fly and possesses powerful claws – but it just looks silly! It’s impossible to imagine it working in a live action movie. Audiences simply wouldn’t take it seriously, in spite of its undoubtedly high threat levels.

Slyde

Slyde

Slyde

Imagine a villain whose entire theme is that he’s “a bit slippery”, making it impossible for anyone to grab a hold of him. Silly huh? Now stop imagining because, rather crazily, he really exists in the form of Slyde!

Slyde is Jalome Beacher – a chemical engineer who successfully created a completely non-stick substance that could be applied to anything to make it fiction-free. He was sacked by his employer and turned to crime to make ends meet. He created a costume and coated it in the non-stick substance to carry out his crimes.

Spider-Man caught him in the act, but the Webbed Wonder couldn’t apprehend him. Trying to get a hold of him was pointless, while punches and webbing just slid off him harmlessly – and he went on to be a recurring foe for the superhero.

The suit also allows him to travel up to 30 miles per hour, but it’s just silly. So please, Marvel, please spare us from hearing the inevitable “slippery customer” quips by Spidey and don’t use Slyde in a movie!

Gibbon

Gibbon

Gibbon

Gibbon is Martin Blank – a mutant whose mutation gave him the abilites of an ape (enhanced strength and speed, great agility, dexterity, balance and endurance etc).

He used his abilities to perform in the circus as an acrobat, where he wore a gibbon costume – at which point he was a friend of Spider-Man’s. He even asked to be the superhero’s sidekick, but he was laughed at by the Webbed Wonder.

Angered by the rejection, he accepted an offer to have his powers enhanced by Kraven the Hunter. Kraven gave him a broth made from herbs that changed his appearance to be more ape-like and gave him an animalistic rage.

Newly-increased in power and still angry with Spider-Man for rejecting him, he sought the superhero out and attacked him in a failed attempt to prove that he was as good as him. His relationship with Spidey is up and down, but he’s generally a thorn in his side. However, with a silly name like “Gibbon” and the clumsy, stupid, self-deprecating nature of his personality, he’d be rubbish in a movie.

Rocket Racer

Rocket Racer

Rocket Racer

There have been two characters in the Marvel universe who have used the Rocket Racer name, but only one of them is worth mentioning here – the original and best of the pair, Robert Farrell.

Farrell is a villain who actually reformed to become a hero, but his most memorable scenes are when he was a burglar and would regularly be thwarted by Spider-Man.

He was a young science prodigy who wanted to support his family but, when he realised he couldn’t, he turned to a life of crime. He developed a cybernetically-controlled, rocket-powered magnetic skateboard for himself, as well as gauntlets armed with mini-rockets, and embarked on a crime spree.

After Spider-Man first put a stop to his nefarious activities, he had his equipment upgraded by the Tinkerer. However, he was still impossible to take seriously after the upgrade – and that was in a comic! There is, therefore, absolutely no way that he could be taken seriously in a live action movie.

Tinkerer

The Tinkerer

The Tinkerer

Spider-Man really requires a physical threat, so the last thing you ever want to see him go up against in a movie is a frail old man who comes up with a bunch of zany inventions – that’s exactly what the Tinkerer is.

His name is Phineas Mason and he’s an engineering genius whose intellect is such that it is bordering on superhuman. However, he has literally no superhuman physical attributes to speak of and is, in fact, far weaker than the average grown man.

Although he has created the gadgets for a number of Spider-Man’s villains (Rocket Racer, Mysterio, Scorpion etc) and sometimes employs thugs to do his dirty work, he generally works alone creating silly toy-like machines to carry out crimes (which usually involve using bugs to record politicians and blackmailing them) – which is what regularly brings him to the attention of the Webbed Wonder.

Unfortunately, including the Tinkerer in a movie would result in a distinct lack of action scenes – and that’s just not good enough for a Spidey offering.

Big Wheel

Big Wheel

Big Wheel

Oh dear. Big Wheel is Jackson Weele – a businessman who was blackmailed by the Spider-Man villain known as Rocket Racer, who threatened to tell the world that he had embezzled a load of money from his own business.

Feeling as though he had nowhere to turn, Weele remembered Rocket Racer boasting about having equipment made for him by the Tinkerer, so he approached the genius old man and had him build something for him – a giant mechanical wheel fitted with guns and waldo-arms – and became a supervillain.

He hunted Rocket Racer down, just as the Webbed Wonder was doing the same thing – and he ended up coming to blows with the hero, starting a feud that would continue in the long-run.

His giant wheel really is ridiculous – the idea of it being able to climb up buildings is just beyond stupid – and Big Wheel would translate terribly to the big screen. Here’s hoping, therefore, that he never appears in a movie.

Kangaroo

Kangaroo

Kangaroo

Oh dear. In many cases, having a superhero or supervillain themed around an animal of some sort can make sense. Sharks, tigers and rhinos are dangerous, spiders, scorpions and snakes are all creepy, but Kangaroo’s theme is… well… a god-damned kangaroo!

Kangaroo is actually the name of two Spider-Man villains, both of whom possess the same “astonishing” leaping ability. One is called Frank Oliver and the other is called Brian Hibbs – and they’re both equally as ridiculous as each other.

They’re both decent fighters (Oliver is a boxer and Hibbs is just a generally decent hand-to-hand combatant), but their powers come from different sources. Oliver studied kangaroos and developed a jumping style similar to them, which was augmented with cybernetic implants. Hibbs wore a suit of armour that gave him powerful legs and various other ridiculous kangaroo-themed abilities.

Oliver was a petty criminal who came into contact with Spider-Man during his crime spree and Hibbs donned the Kangaroo mantle to avenge Oliver, who he idolised, after he was defeated. Regardless, nobody wants to see a kangaroo-themed villain in a Spider-Man movie!

What do you think? Are these Spider-Man villains genuinely terrible? Could they actually work in a movie? Have your say below!

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